Bad idea of the day: The Monopoly Movie

Den of Geek reports that Kevin Hart is set to star in the long-mooted Monopoly movie. I had to check and it’s true — according to the IMDb, someone really does think that a film version of Monopoly is a good idea.

Monopoly.

I know a lot of board gamers dislike Monopoly, but I have to admit that we still bring it out reasonably often. It is true that randomly moving around the board gives makes the gameplay very reliant on luck — especially in the early stages — and games can drag on if you’re not careful.

On the other hand, if you emphasise negotiation and deal-making when building (and building on) your sets, you have a reasonably tactical game in which an unlucky roll can throw all of your strategies awry (and how you respond to seeing your plans torn up in front of you is a big part of the game).

As for the length, much of this tends to be caused by house rules. Rules like putting fines into a pool to collected by whoever lands on the Free Parking square, not auctioning properties or not allowing trades until everyone has been around the board all serve to slow down the game. And if all else fails, there is nothing wrong with stopping the game and declaring a winner and/or a draw.

Monopoly, as it’s name suggests, is a game of unfettered capitalism. If you want to enjoy it, you have to embrace the brutality. But I don’t see how this is going to translate into any sort of watchable film, and the storyline sounds awful:

A trio of kids from Baltic Avenue discover that Charles Darrow, the inventor of Monopoly, hid a coded secret in the game that we’ve all been playing with for generations, setting them off on an adventure through the streets of Atlantic City, racing through forgotten underground railroads, the Boardwalk and more as they’re pursued by a near-bankrupt casino owner also competing to find Darrow’s hidden fortune.

Cue wacky escapades.

Kevin Hart played Fridge in the Jumanji sequel, Welcome to the Jungle, I film that I quite liked. The point here is that in the Jumanji films, the game is both fictional and would be terrible to play — but it’s great to watch.

With Monopoly, as with previous game to film adaptations, we’re going to end up with something that everyone sees (because everyone will recognise the name) but no-one enjoys.

But what do I know. Someone released a Jumaji board game.

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